How sexy am I? I'm sexier than Ashton Kutcher, shirtless in an elevator, speaking french(1), and if you think differently, you have another think coming(2). I'd get so mad i'd levicorpus(3) your butt, and i'd slap you with my red fish AND my blue fish(4). I'd Rick Roll(5) you every chance I got, and smash your stupid shiny silver volvo(6). You may hate me, but this ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye(7)
Love, Actually(8),
Jessica
P.S. I love you (9)
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